Category Archives: Jokes

After 50 Years of Marriage

Oh baby...

Oh baby…

After nearly 50 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband, begin to massage her in ways he hadn’t in quite some time. It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving… down past the small of her back. He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down, stopping just over her stomach. He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, working down her side, passing gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over and became silent. As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, ‘Honey that was wonderful. Why did you stop?’ To which he responded: ‘I found the remote.’…!

Google’s top 50 Most Popular Women – One isn’t a woman

This one is an Easy one…

Go to Google and type in: “50 Most Popular Women” <- with quotes or be lazy and click the link.

Go to the first link that comes up and scroll down to #7.

Laugh out Loud

 

Marriage Lessons

On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration.

marriage

Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?

Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed single why-am-I-still-single.

Ghost Drive Thru Prank – This is Awesome!

Ok, so maybe I use the word “Awesome” a little to much…Kind of like “ok” when I start everyone of these posts…

Anyways…This is the type of stuff that makes you laugh…and by laugh I mean bust up laughing because the reactions on these people’s faces are priceless!

drive-thru-prank

Now how am I suppose to hand them their food?

They have absolutely no Idea what the hell is going on!

The Man on the Beach and the Genie

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.
He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, “OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah.
This is the fourth time this month and I’m getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three…

You only get one wish!”

Man and Genie on Beach

The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, “I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I’m scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?”

The genie laughed and said, “That’s impossible!!!
Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific?
Think of how much concrete — how much steel!! No, think of another wish.”
The man said “OK, I will try to think of a really good wish”.

Finally, he said, “I’ve been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don’t care and that I’m insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they’re thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they’re crying, know what they really want when they say “nothing,” know how to make them truly happy.”

The genie said, “Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?”

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